Why We Struggle to Slow Down on Vacation

As the founder of Slow Travel Co., I understand the benefits of slowing down. Otherwise, what the heck am I doing here?

After decades in a demanding corporate career, I spent my vacation time traveling to incredible countries, but I often came home just as stressed (if not more stressed) than when I left. And recently, I realized there had to be a different way to travel.

I used to be what I can only consider a "fast traveler". I had a running list of things that I wanted to see and do in every country that I visited. I counted my countries and (still) have a running list of countries or places I want to see.

Slow travel isn't about giving those desires up. It's about finding a way to experience the joys of travel without the stress. Giving your body permission to let go of the anxiety that has become our default state and to let go and relax. Permission to do nothing.

Why Slowing Down Feels So Hard

Through our women's retreats, I've noticed that many women struggle to slow down. The idea of just sitting around to read gives them anxiety. Or they feel guilty that they're in another country and not "getting the most" out of their experience. Or even feel embarrassed to tell their friends and family that they traveled all the way to whatever country to only do a few things, instead of a whole list of things.

Personally, I don't think it's a lack of wanting to slow down. I think it's that many of us simply don't know how. Many of us have forgotten how to do nothing. Or perhaps more accurately, we've never really been taught how.

I find this to be a fascinating topic. I love understanding the psychology behind why we do what we do, so I started researching why slowing down feels so difficult.

The Problem Isn't You

For most of human history, our brains evolved to pay attention to threats, opportunities, and changes in our environment. Stillness wasn't necessarily rewarded. Awareness and action were rewarded. Fast forward to today, and we've built a world that constantly feeds those same instincts. Breaking news. Email on our phones. Endless notifications. Social media platforms designed to keep us scrolling.

Our brains have become accustomed to a nearly constant stream of stimulation.

So when we finally sit down on a terrace overlooking the sunset across the ocean with nowhere to be and nothing to do, we get restless and uncomfortable. We tell ourselves we'll do this for 15 minutes and then go and do something else. We're not able to relax because our minds have been trained to expect something else.

Then Social Norms Add Another Layer

Beyond biology, many of us have spent decades receiving the same message that we need to give 110% or keep the pedal to the metal. The early bird gets the worm. Rise and grind. (You get the picture).

Who decided that success equals being busy, and that our productivity is our value?

Whether we realize it or not, busyness has become part of our identity. It's often the first thing we tell people when they ask how we're doing. "We're so busy!" It's practically a badge of honor. So when a moment presents itself without a packed agenda, it can feel surprisingly uncomfortable. If I'm not accomplishing something, am I wasting time? If I'm not exploring, learning, achieving, or checking something off a list, am I doing life (or vacation!) wrong?

Of course not! We've just been rewarded for being busy for so long that we don't feel right if we're slowing down.

Somewhere Along the Way, We Forgot How to Be Still

Because most of us have spent years being rewarded for being busy, we've become incredibly good at doing. But that also means that we've had very little practice simply being.

When a vacation like our Slow Travel Retreats finally creates empty space, it can feel unfamiliar and maybe even unsettling. The irony is that the thing we say we need the most (rest) is often the thing we're least practiced at receiving.

Slow Travel Isn't About Doing Nothing

One of the biggest misconceptions about slow travel is that it's just sitting around and that somehow makes it less meaningful than checking ten attractions off a list before lunch.

In reality, slow travel isn't about doing nothing. Yes, it's about doing less, but with the intent of actually experiencing more. Giving yourself the break that your body and mind need isn't boring. It's restorative.

Wander down that side street because you think it looks interesting. Sit in a cafe for hours because you're enjoying reading your book or people-watching. Really notice the details in your surroundings instead of racing through it. Wake up each morning and ask yourself what you want to do versus what you should do. And yes, sometimes it's doing absolutely nothing at all. Because you can.

Learning to Slow Down Is a Skill

I think many people assume that slowing down should come naturally. But after years of packed schedules and constant stimulation, it often doesn't. Like any skill, it takes practice.

The first day of a Slow Travel Retreat can feel surprisingly difficult. Your brain may keep searching for the next thing to do. You may feel guilty for sitting still. You may wonder if you're wasting time.

Notice those feelings and get curious about where they're coming from. Are those thoughts actually true? What would happen if you challenged them? Slowing down won't feel natural at first, but that's okay. Like any new skill, it becomes easier with practice.

What If Rest Doesn't Have to Be Earned?

Perhaps the biggest lesson slow travel teaches us is that rest isn't a reward for finishing everything on your to-do list. We all know the to-do list is never really finished. There will always be one more email to answer, one more errand to run, one more thing asking for your attention.

If we wait until everything is done before allowing ourselves to rest, we'll be waiting forever. So I ask you, what if rest wasn't something you had to earn? What if it was something you deserved simply because you're human?